Sunday
Saturday
alamak. interview?
"You could have been number one,
If you only had the chance" -Uno
To whomever who might be reading this,
Seriously aku takde mood nak buat entri. Bukan ada orang baca pun. Tapi itulah, i don't know anyone else who would be interested in my story anyway. F sibuk kerja and I don't want to bother her with me and my silly thoughts. So yeah, here it goes. Tadi lepas asar prayer aku tidur, sebab semalam aku tidur lambat gila, finishing Jeffrey Deaver's Praying For Sleep. Novel dia ni kan semua best kan, so yeah, aku pun habiskan baca and slept around 4 am or so. But the novel is not what I want to talk about.
Aku terjaga dalam pukul 6.40 pm, sebab rasa handphone aku vibrate. Aku tengok ada sms dari YTN. 'YTN?' Aku pun teringat la pasal biasiswa Yayasan Tenaga Nasional aku isi haritu. Aku cuma mintak Program Uniten je. Program Luar Negara memang sahlah kan tak dapat, since orang yang mintak semuanya straight A yang power power. So aku mintak Program Uniten.
Aku pun bukak internet. Try la check kat site tu. Semak la i/c aku, tengok shortlisted ke tak. Aku tengok ramai gila mintak. Dalam 360+ orang kot. Wow ramainya. Lepas tu, aku memang target takdapat la, okay la pendek cerita semaksemak, i/c aku ada.
Hari Selasa. Temuduga pukul 8 pagi. Hmm... OK. Kat sini ada masalah. Aku sebenarnya tak pernah terfikir pun aku kena pergi interview. So aku ambil ringan jela pasal hal ni. Tapi sekarang ni aku dapat. Hmm... Apa masalahnya? THE PROBLEM IS AKU TAK ADA CERTS! Sijil aku, cehh orang kan aktif koko kan, aku letak merata rata. Serious. Adik aku koyakkan cert aku pun (dahla sijil Final Debate SBP- saja nak cakap haha), pun aku tak kisah. Nak marah buat apa. Bukan penting pun sijil. Aku tak pernah terfikir pun orang interview guna certs sampai la aku Form 5. Tapi masa tu aku dah tak masuk apaapa dah. Sekolah aku macam strict sikit, Form 5 tidak digalakkan participate in competitions. Aku tak berani nak cakap kat parents aku, takut diorang mengamuk and berleter. I mean, let us be rational here. Berleter dan mengamuk won't change the situation.
Hoh, mak aku dah mengharap dah. Ayah aku pun dah beli flight ticket dah. Pening pening. Aku pernah juga tanya kat Yahoo Answer kan, macam mana kalau orang hilang certs, tapi nak pergi interview. Ada yang cakap pergi mintak orang yang bagi aku cert and explain the situation. Aku call, orang tak angkat. Aku call number invalid. SDawrJYFDIHGDHGOI!
So, lesson learnt is, jaga certs baikbaik ogayyy? Apa aku nak beritahu kat interviewer tu pun aku tak tahu. Ingat esok nak call YTN, nak tanya macam mana kan. Tapi guys, doakan aku tau. Mungkin korang tak kenal aku, tapi apa salahnya doa je kan untuk aku. So yeah... itulah masalah aku.
If you only had the chance" -Uno
To whomever who might be reading this,
Seriously aku takde mood nak buat entri. Bukan ada orang baca pun. Tapi itulah, i don't know anyone else who would be interested in my story anyway. F sibuk kerja and I don't want to bother her with me and my silly thoughts. So yeah, here it goes. Tadi lepas asar prayer aku tidur, sebab semalam aku tidur lambat gila, finishing Jeffrey Deaver's Praying For Sleep. Novel dia ni kan semua best kan, so yeah, aku pun habiskan baca and slept around 4 am or so. But the novel is not what I want to talk about.
Aku terjaga dalam pukul 6.40 pm, sebab rasa handphone aku vibrate. Aku tengok ada sms dari YTN. 'YTN?' Aku pun teringat la pasal biasiswa Yayasan Tenaga Nasional aku isi haritu. Aku cuma mintak Program Uniten je. Program Luar Negara memang sahlah kan tak dapat, since orang yang mintak semuanya straight A yang power power. So aku mintak Program Uniten.
Aku pun bukak internet. Try la check kat site tu. Semak la i/c aku, tengok shortlisted ke tak. Aku tengok ramai gila mintak. Dalam 360+ orang kot. Wow ramainya. Lepas tu, aku memang target takdapat la, okay la pendek cerita semaksemak, i/c aku ada.
Hari Selasa. Temuduga pukul 8 pagi. Hmm... OK. Kat sini ada masalah. Aku sebenarnya tak pernah terfikir pun aku kena pergi interview. So aku ambil ringan jela pasal hal ni. Tapi sekarang ni aku dapat. Hmm... Apa masalahnya? THE PROBLEM IS AKU TAK ADA CERTS! Sijil aku, cehh orang kan aktif koko kan, aku letak merata rata. Serious. Adik aku koyakkan cert aku pun (dahla sijil Final Debate SBP- saja nak cakap haha), pun aku tak kisah. Nak marah buat apa. Bukan penting pun sijil. Aku tak pernah terfikir pun orang interview guna certs sampai la aku Form 5. Tapi masa tu aku dah tak masuk apaapa dah. Sekolah aku macam strict sikit, Form 5 tidak digalakkan participate in competitions. Aku tak berani nak cakap kat parents aku, takut diorang mengamuk and berleter. I mean, let us be rational here. Berleter dan mengamuk won't change the situation.
Hoh, mak aku dah mengharap dah. Ayah aku pun dah beli flight ticket dah. Pening pening. Aku pernah juga tanya kat Yahoo Answer kan, macam mana kalau orang hilang certs, tapi nak pergi interview. Ada yang cakap pergi mintak orang yang bagi aku cert and explain the situation. Aku call, orang tak angkat. Aku call number invalid. SDawrJYFDIHGDHGOI!
So, lesson learnt is, jaga certs baikbaik ogayyy? Apa aku nak beritahu kat interviewer tu pun aku tak tahu. Ingat esok nak call YTN, nak tanya macam mana kan. Tapi guys, doakan aku tau. Mungkin korang tak kenal aku, tapi apa salahnya doa je kan untuk aku. So yeah... itulah masalah aku.
Friday
finished my spm. what's next?
"Oppose and disagree, destroy Demonocracy" - Assassin
Dear friend,
Well as you would probably know, 'tis the season where most SPM graduates are busy filling in scholarship forms, all crossing their fingers in hope to study abroad. I am no exception. Except that I'm merely doing this to fulfill my mum's wish. Me? What I'd like to do? Well, I don't know really. What I would really like to do is, I don't know, it's just not possible. With my mum's high expectations and all.
When I was in primary school, I would come up with all sorts of occupations when the teacher asks me what my ambition is. Secretly, what I would really like to do, is, to be a cartoonist and play the guitar. Yes, a cartoonist. Yes. A guitarist. My mum memang sahsah la takkan bagi kan. I once gave her hints on being a cartoonist. "Kartunis? Nak makan apa kakak? Cuba la jadi matang sikit." Yes, my mum can be considered as successful, I guess that's why she has this really high expectations of me. But I want to be a cartoonist! *whines* I don't care about money, mom! There are people out there who eat dirt, and they are still breathing!
Let me tell you about my mum. She is really a no-nonsense person. There were two secrets that I kept from her. That I draw cartoons and play the guitar. It is nothing really, no biggie. But being my mum, being her, she would go, "Kakak, kenapa kakak buang masa? Main gitar and drawing bukan boleh bagi kakak dapat good result." In fact, that was the sentence she gave to me when I finally told her the truth. To my mum the workaholic, every second you are not sleeping, kena belajar belajar belajar.
Dear friend,
Well as you would probably know, 'tis the season where most SPM graduates are busy filling in scholarship forms, all crossing their fingers in hope to study abroad. I am no exception. Except that I'm merely doing this to fulfill my mum's wish. Me? What I'd like to do? Well, I don't know really. What I would really like to do is, I don't know, it's just not possible. With my mum's high expectations and all.
When I was in primary school, I would come up with all sorts of occupations when the teacher asks me what my ambition is. Secretly, what I would really like to do, is, to be a cartoonist and play the guitar. Yes, a cartoonist. Yes. A guitarist. My mum memang sahsah la takkan bagi kan. I once gave her hints on being a cartoonist. "Kartunis? Nak makan apa kakak? Cuba la jadi matang sikit." Yes, my mum can be considered as successful, I guess that's why she has this really high expectations of me. But I want to be a cartoonist! *whines* I don't care about money, mom! There are people out there who eat dirt, and they are still breathing!
Let me tell you about my mum. She is really a no-nonsense person. There were two secrets that I kept from her. That I draw cartoons and play the guitar. It is nothing really, no biggie. But being my mum, being her, she would go, "Kakak, kenapa kakak buang masa? Main gitar and drawing bukan boleh bagi kakak dapat good result." In fact, that was the sentence she gave to me when I finally told her the truth. To my mum the workaholic, every second you are not sleeping, kena belajar belajar belajar.
One of the happiest moments of my life, going to this small music shop and buying this cheap blue and black Samick and small 10 watt amp using my own money. Worked hard for it. After that I would wait until my mum goes to work and spend hours on end playing and playing. I self taught myself how to play the guitar. And I'm really proud of that.
So anyway, back to the topic, I kind of feel sad that I am Malaysian. If I were an American, or I don't know, orang Barat la, or if I were living in the western countries, maybe I could really chase my dream in drawing and play guitar as a living. Why? Sebab apa? They have encouragements from their society. We Malaysians lack that. Menjadi orang Asia ni, or maybe a Malaysian, there's the disadvantage. I mean, you really have to be really really really extremely good tahap dewa, or you are stinking rich, to enable you to pursue your dreams. Tengok orang putih, kalau minat menari, hah, jadiklah penari. If you are interested of becoming a writer pun boleh jadi kaya. Us? The only thing Asians are known is their academic performance. Yang lain? I don't know, maybe it's just me who thinks about it, and don't get me wrong, I am NOT a racist. Tak, tak maksud pun. So yeah, what next? Entahla. Kalau ada rezeki, if God wills, adala. If not, hey there makan gaji!
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